The first Sunday of Lent always has us reading about the temptations of Jesus in the wilderness. If you have been in churches that follow the lectionary, this is a familiar story, and a familiar part of the rhythm of the year. I always found that to be an interesting passage to preach when I was a pastor, for there was usually some new twist to consider, some new angle from which to view the story.
And this year, though I have not been a pastor for several years, the story challenged me in a new and needed way. One of my daily disciplines for the last couple of years has been to read the daily devotional passage from the Center for Action and Contemplation (led by Father Richard Rohr). In today’s reading, he refers to the temptation narrative in the gospel of Matthew and he points out that the first two temptations are for Jesus to doubt his divine identity. “If you are the Son of God, you can do…” That is a key moment, when Jesus has to decide who to believe about who he is.
But here is the broader truth about that temptation. We all face that same temptation almost daily. We may feel like it is coming from the evil one who makes us wonder if God could really love us, if we could really be children of God. Even if you are not religious, you probably hear the same voice in your head and your heart, saying something like, “If you really were a good person, you wouldn’t be doing….whatever thing you sometimes think you shouldn’t be doing.”
And if we pay too much attention, and give too much power, to that voice, we will start to believe it, and we will start to act out of that belief. If we listen to the doubts enough, we will see no reason not to give in to them.
But…if we can stand up to that voice, if we can speak truth back to it, we can reclaim our power, our identity as beloved children of the divine, as worthy creatures and citizens of the universe.
I write out of much experience. I know this voice well. I know this challenge well. And some days I find the grace and the power to push back against it and claim my identity and my strength. Other days, maybe not so much.
So, during this Lenten season, while I am working on some needed changes in my own life, I am trying hard to listen for a different voice, for an encouraging spirit, a trustworthy companion on the journey who reminds me not of what I cannot do, but of who I am and how much value and strength I have.
I don’t think that we ever fully silence our inner critical voice, and perhaps we don’t need to since it might cause us to do some needed inner work from time to time. But we don’t have to give that voice top billing in our minds, and we don’t have to believe everything it says. On the good days, we know that what they are saying is not who we are anyway.
So listen each day for the voice of God, or of the universe, or of your own soul, who reminds you that you have value just because you are here and that you are strong and kind and worthy. That is the voice that can change our days, and our lives, so we would do well to believe it when we hear it.
Peace.