I usually struggle with choosing a discipline, or a denial, or a practice for Lent, and this year has been no different. The usual list of things went through my mind, and while I know that some of them would be good for me, none of them were inspiring me. And if they don’t inspire me, I am going to struggle with keeping up with it.
So, I kept thinking and finally decided that this year for Lent, I am giving up complaining. That might seem strange, but then I pretty odd so no problem there. And I don’t think I complain a lot, but I have become aware of it more lately.
Our town is growing quite a bit and that means construction and traffic, and those things can certainly bring out the negative. I mean it sometimes takes fifteen minutes to get somewhere, and that does result in some grumbles. And our traffic lights are terrible, so you know?!
And the resolution people are still coming to the gym halfway through February and crowding it up and using the weights and machines I want. Our regular 6 AM crowd has a lot to say about that, and much of it is not so positive. We want to be able to do what we always do, and these new people should respect that, even if they don’t know us or what we do. We were there first.
There are more examples, but I will leave it at these two.
What I want to focus on is the positives when I can. Or at least camp out at neutral without making the leap to whining and griping.
The truth of my life is that I really don’t have much to complain about. And the things that we tend to go so negative about are mostly just inconveniences. They make things take a little longer or require us to alter our routine. And we don’t like it and so we complain and judge and ask for a little cheese to go with our whine.
What if we shifted our focus and tried to think of things in a different way? Our town is growing, and traffic is backed up…but we are getting new stores and restaurants, and new people are moving here who are potential clients for my business.
And sure, my workouts may be altered by there being more people in the gym, but why should more people wanting to be healthy be a bad thing?
To be clear, there is a difference between honest critique and complaining. We need to be willing to be honest about things that are not right, but we also need to be aware of the times that we are operating out of a sense of privilege and entitlement more than a desire for things to be right.
So, for the next few weeks, I am going to work hard at not complaining. The things that have brought that out in me are not likely to change during that time; but my new outlook might at least make them look different.
And when I encounter a complainer, I am going to work at not joining in and also at changing the trajectory of the conversation if possible.
I can be almost certain that I will not be completely successful in my complaint-free Lent, so the other part of this is to give myself grace when I do stray into negativity.
The reality is that there is almost always something to be grateful for, and it is much easier to recognize when we are focused on seeing that side of things.
Peace.