A good year, a day at a time

The start of a new year is a good time to evaluate what has been and look ahead at what might be. I don’t make resolutions, I set goals…and then I make a spreadsheet to track my progress.  But life can throw a wrench into the goals and plans, and spreadsheets.

Last year, I had a pretty extensive (and looking back quite unrealistic) list of goals for the year. Then I had heart surgery in May and it messed up most of them. Life happens that way, but, hey, I am still here to set new goals for 2023, so that is a win!

Over the last couple of years, I have been reading lots from the Stoic philosophers, and one theme that hits me heard is about how much time we spend worrying about and trying to change things that are out of our control, or not our responsibility. If we focus on what is in our control, which is ultimately how we treat ourselves and others and how we respond to life, we will be much better off.

I have also spent a good bit of time reading Buddhist teachings (I am an eclectic guy) and continue to wrestle with the idea that we suffer because we want things to be different than they are and lots of things are not ours to fix. If we can learn to control our responses and accept life as it comes, we may well find ourselves living a much more peaceful life.

Now, none of that is to say that we don’t try to better ourselves. Most of us can make better decisions about our health. Most of us can be more disciplined than we are. Most of us can do a better job of seeing the value of others and helping them to see it too.

But here is the thing about goal setting and self-improvement…it can easily overwhelm us if we aren’t realistic about our expectations and kind to ourselves when we fail.

Think about that one thing that you really want to change this year. Maybe you want to eat healthier. Maybe you want to stop drinking. Maybe you want to exercise. Perhaps you need to get your finances under control.

If you say, I am going to work out every day, you will fail because life! But if you put a plan in place and find a partner and set small goals, you will likely see progress before long.

If you want to eat more healthy, don’t say I am never eating fried foods again (c’mon you’re only human after all). Rather say “Today I am going to eat healthy.” And strive to meet that goal each day.

If you want to stop drinking, a realistic goal is don’t drink today. And strive for that goal over and over.

Take control of the things you can control. And be kind to yourself in the process. Life can be hard on us, so we should probably take it a little easier on ourselves and each other.

May you have a good year, one day at a time!