Are we in this together?

Republican. Democrat. Conservative. Liberal. Gay. Straight. Black. White. Immigrant. Why do we put so much stock in a label? Do they tell the story of who a person really is? Or are we so polarized now that we can only see the label? Is a black man just a black man, and therefore there is nothing else to see in him? Can we not see in each other a common humanity that recognizes the value in another person just because they are a person? What are we so afraid of?

I think the problem is that we start with our labels, and therefore assume that our label is the right one, the best one…and as such every other is inferior. Republicans demonize Democrats by calling them things like “libtards.” Democrats are often only marginally more civil to Republicans while they paint them as the enemy.

Conservative and liberal are essentially meaningless labels now. So much baggage has been piled on them that they are unrecognizable by historical definitions. It is probably time to just retire them.

But once we move past these political labels, it gets even worse, because here the labels are used as weapons, and the attacks more personal. Think of gay vs. straight (the problem starts with the “vs.”). The anger becomes personal when straight people attack gay folks. They often act as if the very existence of a gay person is such an affront to them that they must lash out with all the outrage they can muster. And what comes out is not pretty; it is hurtful. And sometimes violent.

And then there is the biggest divide of all in 2020 America. It seems that every week we hear the story of a young black man being killed by a white man, and the only reason for it seems to be that the victim dared to be black in 2020 America. The killers might be civilians who like to play with guns, or they might be police officers who have forgotten why they are in the job. But the killers we hear about in these stories are almost always white; and are rarely punished for their crimes.

I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to be a young black man in this country, wondering if today is the day that you get pulled over and everything goes wrong. I cannot imagine being the parent of a young black man, wondering every time they leave the house if they will come back.  And to those white people who say that all these black men had to do was cooperate, even though they were not doing anything wrong…I say this…your privilege is showing, and it is not a good look on you. Just stop it.

I want to think that we are better than this, but the evidence keeps piling up to the contrary. And so, we have a couple of choices. We can throw up our hands and just accept that we are a divided country and that is that. Or we can dig in our heels, and roll up our sleeves, set some of our white privilege aside, and look at those stoking the flames of division and shout at the top of our lungs, “ENOUGH!”

We have heard over and over during the last few months that we are all in this together. That is not totally true. We are in it together in that this pandemic can hit anyone, regardless of age, race, orientation, party, etc. Yet, we are not all experiencing the same thing right now. I am a middle-aged, middle class, straight, white male living in Texas. I am among the most privileged of them all. And I know that my experience here is nothing like that of the single mom who has to keep working just to keep a roof over their heads no matter the risk, or the immigrant who has no safety net and fears getting deported, or the black man who just wanted to go for a run or watch birds in Central Park.

We may be in this together, but we are not all on the same boat. It is time to do something about that. It is time for us to stop fearing what we don’t understand and seeing anyone different as a threat and recognize that the only healthy way through this life is together.