Finding my way back…

Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Ephesians 5:14

Good news….I woke up!  I know that is a strange way to start a post, but it is true. I am writing this about 8 weeks after the Covid-19 crisis started and our lives were turned upside down.  When this pandemic started, it arrived on the heels of an amazingly stressful time for our family, I was battling bronchitis which would last for a couple of months, my business was getting hit hard…and I went to a less than healthy place. Anxiety took over, and I am not normally an anxious person. I was in a state of fear and panic much of the time; so much so that there were days that I had trouble getting things done. For weeks I could not handle going to a store. It was rough, and it took a toll on me and my family.

But a few weeks ago, I decided it was time to make a change. So, I started walking, a lot. I used to run, but my knees got older than the rest of me and I had to stop. I lift weights several times a week, but my gym is closed. I was not in a healthy place and I had to do something different. So during the last two weeks of April I walked almost 50 miles while listening to sermons and podcasts and spending a lot of time praying and trying to unpack my response to things. My goal for May is 100 miles, so there will be plenty more time for this work!

And I began to realize some things, many of which were not pleasant to see, but they needed to be faced. Probably the biggest thing I had to admit was that I have been spiritually, and probably emotionally, asleep for a while now.  There are a lot of reasons I could point to for this, and some of those will be discussed in other posts when I am ready, but the result was that I was not as present in my own life and to my family as I needed to be.  Some of these walks were pretty intense, and I tried to leave some of this baggage behind as I covered the miles.

Something woke up in me, and I find myself ready for new challenges and ready to experience some growth. My understanding of faith has been changing and evolving for a while now, but now it is time to get more serious about not just what is being left behind, but what will be there going forward. And one new challenge is this blog.  It may be nothing more than my effort to sort out some things in my own life and soul, but maybe something will resonate with someone else. 

Most of what I share will be my own thoughts and ponderings. Some will be about something I am reading or listening to that I think is worth passing on. Other times, it may be a question or a prayer. I hope it challenges, inspires, entertains…at least enough to come back and see what else I have to say.