“Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.” T’ai Shang Kan-Ying P’ien (Classic book on Taoist ethics and morality)
Every world religion has an expression of this same basic “rule.” In Christianity, it is “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” In Buddhism, “Treat not others in ways that yourself would find hurtful.” In Judaism, “What is hateful to you do not do to your neighbor.”
And we would do well in these times to remember and try to live by all of these statements. But I just came across the Taoist version recently, and it struck a nerve with me, because it is so contrary to the way that we tend to live and relate today. We act as if somebody else getting something means they are taking it away from us. If somebody else’s rights are protected, we act like ours are being threatened. We fail to see how interconnected our lives and our fates truly are.
Think about current events and the variety of responses to them. We can start with the coronavirus pandemic and stay-at-home orders (and masks). A healthy way for us to respond would be to recognize that we all are better off when we look out for each other, and to take whatever steps are needed to protect each other. Our neighbor’s gain would be our gain as well. But instead, we have armed citizens marching on state capitals and threatening public health workers.
People are acting as if being asked to wear a face covering is a threat to their freedom, a grievous infringement on their basic rights. While there may well be some people who cannot handle a mask, for the most part this one is pure selfishness. When we have something so simple that we can do that might save a life, it should be the easiest decision we ever make. But many won’t do even this, and more will get sick and lives will be lost. And our neighbor’s loss is a loss for us all. The loss of any life is a loss for all of us. Like it or not, we are that connected.
The Black Lives Matter movement is a response to a systemic problem that threatens the very fabric of our country. And I find it hard to believe that people could be against seeing everyone treated fairly. I cannot believe that anyone would argue that there is not a problem when we have video proof. And if we could see that our black neighbor’s gain would be our gain as well, we might get serious about addressing the issue. But we act as if black Americans being treated better would mean that we would be treated worse. And we fail to understand that the losses suffered by our black sisters and brothers are our losses too. We are that connected.
Recently, the Supreme Court said that people cannot be fired for being gay or trans. You would think from hearing some critics of the decision that they were afraid they were going to be required to move over to the “gay” team. It was much the same after the SCOTUS decision affirming gay marriage a few years ago. Many pastor friends acted like they were going to be forced to do every gay wedding in their town and that giving same-sex couples the right to marry was a threat to heterosexual marriages everywhere. But giving people more rights is not just the right thing to do, it is a gain for us all. And taking rights from anyone takes them from everyone. We are that connected.
Imagine a world where we lived as if we were that connected, as if we actually believed that to be true. A world where we recognized that a loss for any person is a loss for every person, and where we worked just as hard to lift up our neighbor as we do to protect ourselves. May we work toward that goal for us all. And wear the mask while you do!