Faith in Real Life

W.H. Auden wrote, “We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread. Than climb the cross of the moment. And let our illusions die.” (The Age of Anxiety: A Baroque Eclogue)

That is often true of us. We don’t want change because it is hard. We don’t change because it requires us to look deeply and honestly at ourselves and see the broken pieces. We don’t want to change because it means that we will have to lay down some things that we have held dear, or at least believed to be true, for a long time. And we don’t like change because it might lead us into something we don’t understand and cannot control.

If we are honest, we might acknowledge that what we are holding on to is not good and does not work well, but we are familiar enough with it that we would rather just keep holding on, thank you very much.

But I would submit that the opposite of change is not stability, but apathy and decay. For everything around us is changing, whether we see it or admit it, and if we try to resist the growth and evolution, we will be left beside the road of history, written off as no longer relevant.

The world is changing, and those who fight against it are fighting to hold on to an illusion. They might as well try to capture the smoke of the protest fires burning around the country.

We can embrace the change, and learn from our fellow pilgrims, and imagine a brighter future together. Sure, the power dynamics might no longer be heavily tilted in our favor, but that just means that more people can have an opportunity to do well in this life.

Sure, the makeup of our towns and cities might look different, but that just means that we are recognizing the depth and beauty of the masterful tapestry that is humanity.

It will take time and work and humility and grace and struggle. There will be moments of genuine pain, but there will also be glimpses of what can be. Real, deep, systemic change does not happen overnight, but is the result of enough of us pushing together in the right direction and refusing to give up.

And yes, this means that the world is going to be different. Thank God for that! It is well past time. This is the moment. May we seize it together and walk arm in arm into a better future.

I saw something today that really challenged me. I read that Martin Luther King Jr., said of the story of the Good Samaritan that the Samaritan reversed the question in the story. Instead of asking, “What will happen to me if I help this man?” he asked, “What will happen to this man if I don’t help him?”

Honestly, that stopped me in my tracks. I have taught and preached on that story lots of times before and somehow had missed that point of view, had never heard it put that way. And it makes the whole story make sense to me, especially when you consider the context of the parable. Jesus told the story in response to being asked who we are to consider our neighbors. The answer, in a bigger sense, is every other human who needs our help.

In the context of the ever-widening racial divide in our country, and the increasing acts of violence against people of color, we are challenged with the same questions. Who are our neighbors? And what will happen to them if we fail to get involved and help?

That is the first question we need to ask. And if we are honest, we have a pretty clear idea of the answer. And the answer is not good. If we choose to continue to sit by and wring our hands and post memes while not doing anything that might cost us or challenge the status quo, nothing will change, at least not for the better.

But I thought of something else as I read this today. It should not be the first question we ask, but it is worth our consideration: What will happen to us if we do not help? What will happen to us if we stay on the sidelines while senseless violence continues to be carried out against people whose only “offense” is having the “wrong” color of skin? How much of our humanity will we lose? How much of it are willing to give up in order to stay out of the fight? Because, to be honest, a bit of our humanity died recently on that street in Minneapolis with George Floyd and in that suburb outside of Brunswick, Georgia with Ahmud Arbery.

At some point, those who truly believe that what we are seeing is wrong, must step up and stand beside those being hurt and killed and link arms and declare that we are brothers and sisters and that what happens to one of us truly happens to us all.

Republican. Democrat. Conservative. Liberal. Gay. Straight. Black. White. Immigrant. Why do we put so much stock in a label? Do they tell the story of who a person really is? Or are we so polarized now that we can only see the label? Is a black man just a black man, and therefore there is nothing else to see in him? Can we not see in each other a common humanity that recognizes the value in another person just because they are a person? What are we so afraid of?

I think the problem is that we start with our labels, and therefore assume that our label is the right one, the best one…and as such every other is inferior. Republicans demonize Democrats by calling them things like “libtards.” Democrats are often only marginally more civil to Republicans while they paint them as the enemy.

Conservative and liberal are essentially meaningless labels now. So much baggage has been piled on them that they are unrecognizable by historical definitions. It is probably time to just retire them.

But once we move past these political labels, it gets even worse, because here the labels are used as weapons, and the attacks more personal. Think of gay vs. straight (the problem starts with the “vs.”). The anger becomes personal when straight people attack gay folks. They often act as if the very existence of a gay person is such an affront to them that they must lash out with all the outrage they can muster. And what comes out is not pretty; it is hurtful. And sometimes violent.

And then there is the biggest divide of all in 2020 America. It seems that every week we hear the story of a young black man being killed by a white man, and the only reason for it seems to be that the victim dared to be black in 2020 America. The killers might be civilians who like to play with guns, or they might be police officers who have forgotten why they are in the job. But the killers we hear about in these stories are almost always white; and are rarely punished for their crimes.

I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to be a young black man in this country, wondering if today is the day that you get pulled over and everything goes wrong. I cannot imagine being the parent of a young black man, wondering every time they leave the house if they will come back.  And to those white people who say that all these black men had to do was cooperate, even though they were not doing anything wrong…I say this…your privilege is showing, and it is not a good look on you. Just stop it.

I want to think that we are better than this, but the evidence keeps piling up to the contrary. And so, we have a couple of choices. We can throw up our hands and just accept that we are a divided country and that is that. Or we can dig in our heels, and roll up our sleeves, set some of our white privilege aside, and look at those stoking the flames of division and shout at the top of our lungs, “ENOUGH!”

We have heard over and over during the last few months that we are all in this together. That is not totally true. We are in it together in that this pandemic can hit anyone, regardless of age, race, orientation, party, etc. Yet, we are not all experiencing the same thing right now. I am a middle-aged, middle class, straight, white male living in Texas. I am among the most privileged of them all. And I know that my experience here is nothing like that of the single mom who has to keep working just to keep a roof over their heads no matter the risk, or the immigrant who has no safety net and fears getting deported, or the black man who just wanted to go for a run or watch birds in Central Park.

We may be in this together, but we are not all on the same boat. It is time to do something about that. It is time for us to stop fearing what we don’t understand and seeing anyone different as a threat and recognize that the only healthy way through this life is together.

When was the last time you asked for what you really wanted? When was the last time you knew what you really needed and spoke up about it? For most of us, I suspect the answer to both questions is “Too long ago to remember.” We have gotten used to settling for what we know, for what we have always gotten, that we do not dare dream of asking for something more.

I read a story from Acts 3 this morning about a man who had been crippled his entire life and every single day somebody carried him to the gates of the temple in Jerusalem so that he could beg. First off, what kind of person just takes a crippled person and drops them off to beg every day, but that is not my point here. This was all this man had ever known. I guess his goal every day was to get enough from people that he could eat so that he could come back tomorrow and do it all again. And before we pity him too much…many of us do essentially the same thing!

On this particular day, Peter and John were heading into the temple for afternoon prayers when the man stopped them and asked for money. Of course, he asked for money, it was literally all that he knew to do, and he had no way of knowing who these men were and what they might be capable of.

And here the story takes a turn, because immediately something happens that probably was rare. They heard him and noticed him and stopped to engage with him. And Peter tells him that he doesn’t have any money, but he has something else for him. And he heals him right there on the spot.

If you are familiar with the Bible, you probably know this story. But I would encourage you to take another look at it and see where you find yourself in the story. It might surprise you!

Here are a couple of observations I had after spending some time with the story this morning. First, I wonder what happened to the man after the initial shock wore off. I mean he only had one skill, and that was asking people for money. I wonder what life was like for him the next day, the next week, the next year. Did he embrace the freedom of legs that worked for the first time? Or did he just walk himself back to his spot at the temple and keep begging?

Second, we are so often like this man. We go through the motions every day, hoping for just enough life to get us to the next day so we can do it again. And when given the chance to ask for what we really want, for what we really need, we simply fall back on what we have always known. How might our lives change if we spent the time doing the deep work of learning what we really need and then asked for it! What if we learned to voice these things to God, to our partners, our friends, our circles? And then, what if we could embrace that freedom and really learn to live into it every day.

In this time of change, that is my challenge to all of us. May we take the time to get in touch with what we truly want and most deeply need and may we find the courage to voice those things out oud. And may we learn to live in the freedom that can come when we refuse to settle for what we have always gotten. Dream big, my friends, and ask for what is truly on your heart. It might just change your life!

When we are in the fires of trial, the quality of what we have built will be revealed…in our lives, our jobs, our families. The good stuff, the stuff of value and substance, is purified and shined up and shone for what it is. But the other stuff, that lacks real meaning or value, the stuff that hurts us and others, is not purified, but rather burned up in these same fires.

Read these words from 1 Corinthians 3:11-15…

“For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.”

Often these verses are applied to an eternal judgement, and maybe that is accurate. But I read them more as the fires of trial and temptation and hardship that we face in this life, as much as for eternity. Maybe it is because, as I see it, any eternal life doesn’t wait until this one is over to start.

I read these verses again a couple of days ago and spent a while reflecting on what they might mean to me and to us in these trying times. If these times are not a trial of fire, I don’t know what is! And here is what I am coming to see. What we have in us and what we have invested in and built up is revealed in the fire.

If our character is strong and our works are honest and the legacy we are building is one of integrity and generosity and compassion, the fires will illuminate that, even strengthen it. But if our character and our lives are characterized by judgement and anger and greed, by the pursuit of things that have no lasting value…those things tend to burn off in trials, leaving us with little to show for our efforts.

Yet, the verses say that even the one whose buildings are burned up is still saved, even if through the fire. It is not necessarily our lives that we lose in the trials, but what we have spent our lives doing.

And in that, there is grace, for there is an opportunity for a reset, a reboot, a chance to choose differently as we stare down the future.

Yes, sometimes trials end in tragedy and genuine loss. But sometimes they are doorways to new beginnings and new life. That is true for us as individuals, but it is also true for us corporately.

A couple of questions to ponder…What if this pandemic could really burn off the wood and straw that we have allowed to build up and it could reveal what is left? Would there be anything of value left? And how might this change the way we choose to live?

How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!

It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe. Psalm 133:1-2 (NIV)

Living together in unity…what would that be like? Let’s be honest, we haven’t exactly been a model of unity and togetherness for a while, but this crisis has blown away any pretense that we might have been holding to.

We see the problem and we know at least some of the reasons for it. I could spend some time on that side of the equation, but I think that side is already well represented. Instead, I want to think, maybe even dream, a little about how it might be to come together. (And yes, I am aware that this may sound a bit like a fantasy.)

I have read the words from Psalm 133 countless times through my life, and probably have used them numerous times to call a church or some other gathering to live in unity. But I rarely move past the first verse. I mean the idea of oil running down our heads and into our beards and onto our robes is just so ancient and outside of our experience that it is easy to ignore.

But as I reflected on that part of the Psalm today and did some reading about the traditions to which it refers, the whole Psalm took on a deeper meaning for me. The image of the oil seems to be referring to two things.

The first is the way that guests were welcomed into homes in those times.

When a traveler would arrive, a good host would do two things. Wash the guests’ feet and pour some precious oil over their heads. The oil would have been olive oil mixed with sweet-smelling spices that were used for hair and skin care. It was something precious to the owner and perhaps a costly commodity. Yet, they understood that being a good host meant recognizing and honoring the other, even if it cost you something. And if the oil was running down all over the person, the giver was not holding back, but lavishly sharing.

The other connection that this image of oil running down the beard makes is to the anointing of Aaron being anointed for the priesthood. (The story is in Leviticus 8). The oil is used lavishly here as well, and the result is that the one anointed is being set apart for something special, something holy even.

So here is what all that says to me about how we might be able to come together and live in something resembling unity, something good and pleasant and mutually uplifting.

First, we have to recognize that doing so is going to cost us something. It may be a comfort, it may be a deeply held ideal, or it may be an actual material thing, but unity costs us all something. If it only costs the other, then it is not real. It also means recognizing that the other person has value just in being human, which requires something of us as well. What price are you and I willing to pay?

But also, we need to recognize that living together in unity is not just good and pleasant…it can be a holy thing, blessed lavishly by a generous God, if we can just see the beauty of it and set ourselves to the work it asks of us.

When life comes at us hard, we have a couple of choices. We can lean into it and seek to grow and learn and allow it to forge us into something more than we were before. Or we can resist and try to run away from the difficulties. The problem with the second option is that it doesn’t work. The issue with the first, is that it can be really hard!

Obviously, we can apply this to the current situation with the coronavirus running rampant through our world, but we can just as easily apply it to numerous other difficulties we face, large and less so. We all know, at some level, that difficulties and suffering offer tremendous opportunities for growth. We know it…we just don’t like it. And so we resist and run away from the difficult stuff. Or we try to diminish it and make it somehow less real than it is, because if it is not real, we don’t have to deal with it.

We think that we should be immune from the struggle. That we are somehow entitled to a pass on this one. Or that it is not real and therefore has no effect on us. But suffering is universal. It is part of the experience of being human. Maybe the suffering is not the real problem. Maybe the problem is more in our response.

Eckhart Tolle said, “The ego says, ‘I shouldn’t have to suffer,’ and that thought makes you suffer so much more. It is a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical. The truth is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend it.”

In Romans 5, we read, “We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts.” Romans 5:3-5a (NCV)

We can never completely avoid difficulty, and sometimes it is tragic. We are human, therefore we will struggle. But we don’t have to be defeated by troubles. In fact, we are told that it is those very struggles that can shape us into the people we can be.

That is my hope and prayer as we go through this time, that we can be shaped by this dark time into people who bring light. That we can move from fear to faith, from anger to empathy. That we can embrace kindness and compassion and community. That is how we redeem the struggle. We don’t let it beat us, we allow it to reshape us into something more beautiful.

It is a choice, and one that is best made together. And it is a choice that we will have to make each day. But I believe it is worth the effort because the possibilities that lie on the other side might be more than we could imagine.

“An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” Proverbs 12:25

What makes you anxious? I am not just talking about the current pandemic…I think we can all agree that causes anxiety. I mean, what is it in your daily life that causes you the most anxiety? And what impact does that anxiety have on you?

I get what the writer of Proverbs is saying here, because the burden of anxiety does weigh down your heart. It makes you feel that nothing good can happen and robs you of joy. This is true whether the anxiety is financial, relational, or health related. It just parks itself on your heart and demands your attention.

When that happens, we need something to refocus our minds and hearts. And often we need that from outside of us, because the stress we are feeling makes it almost impossible to see past or around it to the good that could be right on the other side.

And sometimes, what is needed is just a kind word from someone. It is amazing how a timely, kind message can relieve some of the weight and allow us to breath enough to find some hope again.

I am trying to be much more intentional about offering those kind words when something strikes me as praiseworthy.

A quick story…Last week I listened to a sermon from a church that I follow in Washington state. It was a great message that spoke to me in a powerful way. So, I decided to find the guy who delivered it on Facebook and send a quick note to express my thanks for his willingness to be so transparent.  I don’t know him, and he doesn’t know me, so my gesture could have come across as a bit stalky.

Instead, I got a message back telling me how timely my message was. He told me he had an encounter the day before that had left him feeling deflated and disoriented.  And then said “You’ve lifted my spirit! Thank you!”

I tell the story not to show how good a thing I did, because it was just a simple Facebook message that took about a minute or two of my time. I tell the story as a reminder that we never know what might be weighing on somebody’s heart, but a kind word is almost always welcome. And it might arrive at exactly the time they need to hear it the most. And I think we can agree that we can never have too much kindness in the world.

“So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.   Matthew 10:26  (NIV)

These are scary times. We are battling an enemy that we cannot see, but that packs a deadly punch. Who knows how many people have actually contracted the Covid-19 virus, and how many have truly died from it.  The real numbers are certainly much higher than the official count.  We are seeing record numbers of people lose their jobs, and maybe worse, as the economy crumbles. Businesses are on the edge, people are angry and frightened, and there is not a clear path out of this dark period.

The current state of things in the world has exposed some big things that we thought were concealed. They never were really hidden, but we lived with the illusion that they were. And that may be one of the most unsettling things to come out of this time…the shattering of so many illusions and the spotlighting of some very real issues.

We have been living under the illusion that we were in control of much of our lives and much of our environments. We are not.  We have been living under the illusion that our way of life was healthy and good for most, if not all, of us. It wasn’t, and it still won’t be if we try to just go back to it.

We have been living as if there would never be a price to pay for our arrogance and greed. There is one, and some of the bill is coming due. We have lived as if our individual rights were absolute, but if yours get in the way of mine then they take a backseat to mine. Obviously, that doesn’t work.

Racial and economic inequality have been with us forever, but right now are on full display and it is not a pretty picture. That is not a normal we need to return to.  There seems to be no social contract binding us together right now, and thus it seems that it is every man, woman, child, and family for themselves. That might work if resources and opportunities were equal, but they are not.

But while it is not easy to have our flaws and our darkness brought out into the light, there can be hope. Our brokenness is an opportunity for, and an invitation to, resurrection. But it must be resurrection to something new, for a return to the old life, the one that seems to be gasping for air, is not an option, or at least not one we should want.

There is not a lot that we can control right now, and we cannot know when and how this health and economic crisis will be over. But what we can control is our minds and our hearts and our response. We can give in to fear (that one is easy…I chose that one for the first several weeks of this) or we can set ourselves to the hard work of looking deep inside and dealing with the darkness and the clutter we find. We can allow ourselves to be changed through this, and then we can set about to change the broken things (the systems and the culture) around us.

What if we could emerge from these times as a kinder, more connected, more just society? What if we could use this time to reevaluate everything that we thought was most important? What if we used this time fix some things that we have just accepted as normal, but that we can now see as being so unhealthy?

What has been concealed is being revealed, so let’s embrace it and do the hard work it requires and choose resurrection instead of fear.

“Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” Ephesians 5:14

Good news….I woke up!  I know that is a strange way to start a post, but it is true. I am writing this about 8 weeks after the Covid-19 crisis started and our lives were turned upside down.  When this pandemic started, it arrived on the heels of an amazingly stressful time for our family, I was battling bronchitis which would last for a couple of months, my business was getting hit hard…and I went to a less than healthy place. Anxiety took over, and I am not normally an anxious person. I was in a state of fear and panic much of the time; so much so that there were days that I had trouble getting things done. For weeks I could not handle going to a store. It was rough, and it took a toll on me and my family.

But a few weeks ago, I decided it was time to make a change. So, I started walking, a lot. I used to run, but my knees got older than the rest of me and I had to stop. I lift weights several times a week, but my gym is closed. I was not in a healthy place and I had to do something different. So during the last two weeks of April I walked almost 50 miles while listening to sermons and podcasts and spending a lot of time praying and trying to unpack my response to things. My goal for May is 100 miles, so there will be plenty more time for this work!

And I began to realize some things, many of which were not pleasant to see, but they needed to be faced. Probably the biggest thing I had to admit was that I have been spiritually, and probably emotionally, asleep for a while now.  There are a lot of reasons I could point to for this, and some of those will be discussed in other posts when I am ready, but the result was that I was not as present in my own life and to my family as I needed to be.  Some of these walks were pretty intense, and I tried to leave some of this baggage behind as I covered the miles.

Something woke up in me, and I find myself ready for new challenges and ready to experience some growth. My understanding of faith has been changing and evolving for a while now, but now it is time to get more serious about not just what is being left behind, but what will be there going forward. And one new challenge is this blog.  It may be nothing more than my effort to sort out some things in my own life and soul, but maybe something will resonate with someone else. 

Most of what I share will be my own thoughts and ponderings. Some will be about something I am reading or listening to that I think is worth passing on. Other times, it may be a question or a prayer. I hope it challenges, inspires, entertains…at least enough to come back and see what else I have to say.